JEEBUS FRIES!

Arr.

Ahoy, mateys. Heppy Talk Loik a Pirrrrate Day.

...

It's harrrrrrrrrd.

Last noight, Oi hed a crrrazy dream, me hearrrties. Trrry to guess what'twas aboot.

If'n ya said "spiderrrrs," ye'd be quite correct.

A big white spiderrr, t'be exact. Keels (me farrrst mate, she is...th'wench...) told me it be a Donkey Spiderrr, to which Oi reploied "Arrrrr."

Oi put a wee glass o'er its lettle booty (bwah harrrrr) but it be'd so dense it knocked the glass roight overrrr, and made me run shriekin' like a wee lass in sharrrrt skirrts.

An' then Oi was on me ship, the Jolly Arrrr, but there be snow all arround, just a'blowin' as pretty as ye please. It be'd sparrrrkly, yessarrrrrrr. And a moit nipply as well.

Oi hev an ache in me noggin. Why is th' rrrrrrrrrum gone?