kokopellinelli: (Processing Giveadamn)
I went on the boats today, on the Meares trip. Got some neat video of the glacier calving, and some photos, which will be coming to an LJ post near you in the near future. There were whales, and sea lions, and puffins, and all sorts of goodness.

The purpose of THIS post, however, is to discuss the little girl who was on the boat today. She was about 6, I think, and let me say this: "NOTE TO PARENTS: THE JOB OF THE BOAT CREW IS TO CREW, NOT TO KEEP YOUR KID OCCUPIED."

Are we clear?

Good.

I like to think that, if I ever have kids, and I thought my child was pestering someone, I would do something about it. Like, make that child stay with me the rest of the day.

I didn't mind it the first time she came up to the galley (10 minutes after we started out) and asked when we would serve the meal. I didn't mind the 2nd or 3rd time, even though they happened within 20 minutes of the first time. But after that, it started to get sort of annoying. Then she asked me if she could have lemonade. I told her she had to ask her mom.

Demon Spawn: "You're my mom."
Busy Nelli: "Uh...no I'm not."
Demon Spawn: "Yes you are."
Busy Nelli: "Nope, I'm no one's mom."
Demon Spawn: "Yuh huh."
Busy Nelli: "Uh, no. Go ask your mom."
Demon Spawn: "Who's Noah?"
Busy Nelli: "Noah?"
Demon Spawn: "You said you were Noah's mom."
Busy Nelli: "Oh, yeah. Uh...*points to Collin, who is minding his own business* That's my son, Noah."
Demon Spawn: "HUH UH! Moms and husbands don't work together!"

Okay.

Finally we served lunch, and all was quiet...for about an hour. Then when I got to sit down to eat my lunch, she came and sat across from me, asking if we had any more.

Eating Nelli: "Nope."
Demon Spawn: "YOU ATE IT ALL?"
Eating Nelli: "No, everyone ate it all."
Demon Spawn: "NUH UH, YOU ATE IT ALL! Y'ALL ARE GONNA BE FAT!"
Eating Nelli: "Oh, I ate it all? Did I eat yours? I'm pretty sure you ate your own."
Demon Spawn: "NO, Y'ALL ATE IT ALL! Y'ALL ARE GONNA BE FAT!"

At least she didn't point out that I'm already fat.

Peter and Collin finally got tired of her spending every spare second back at the galley, asking the same questions over and over, and whining when she learned soup wouldn't be served for another 3 hours. They told her we were having a coloring contest and gave her some crayons and coloring pages. She churned out about 10 during the rest of the trip, then spend about 15 minutes pestering Chris (the captain) up in the bridge to judge the pictures.

When she finally got off the boat (her humpback whale won the contest), she grabbed Collin around the middle for a hug that lasted about a minute and a half, even as he kept saying "Okay, I have to get back to work now. Okay, I have to get back to work now." Her mother was halfway up the ramp and started half-hearted calling, "Catherine, come on now. Catherine, let's go. Catherine, come on."

As they disembarked, her mom said, "Thanks for a wonderful day! And thanks for entertaining her!"

Yeah. Not our job, lady. And thanks for the NO TIP you left for putting up with your annoying daughter. Honestly, we don't expect tips, but it's nice when we basically babysat for 9 hours.

Anyway, it probably doesn't sound as bad as it was, and it wasn't really bad, just annoying.

I USED TO LOVE ALL CHILDREN, WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ME??
kokopellinelli: (Default)
Last night I had nightmare. It didn't start out as one.

I was walking with Nina (who was a combination of Becky and Keely as well) and Summer and Zoe (Ni's dog). We were walking in an unfamiliar neighborhood...looked like it was somewhere down south. There were no mountains to be seen.

We found a tunnel, and for some reason, took off our shoes and crawled into it. We left the dogs at the entrance. We came out into a house.

It was a nice house. Very clean, lots of windows with sunlight streaming through. The furniture was white-washed and beachy-looking. It was dreamlike in that house, and completely silent.

We walked through the house, peering into rooms. We found ourselves in a child's room. It was bright and spotless. The bed was made, there were teddy bears lining one wall. It was a perfectly lovely room.

I started getting the heebie jeebies.

It was too, too perfect. And completely silent still.

Across the hall was another child's room.

Somehow I knew that no children occupied those rooms. Somehow I knew that whoever lived in the house had killed those children, as well as any else they came across.

I opened a door and peered down the hallway. It was not bright and clean like the rest of the house. It was dark and dusty, with unpolished wood floors that echoed and creaked.

I could hear music. There was a gramophone, and it was playing staticky 20s music. I realized that, though the house was completely silent, the music had also been playing all along.

I told Nina I wanted to leave. We found an open window that led to a balcony. The balcony had a ladder to ground level.

Summer and Zoe were waiting for us across the street with our shoes. As we put them on our feet, I heard the music again. It was coming closer. Down the street, a black Lincoln approached us, and the music grew ever louder. We started to run.

Every time we slowed down, we could hear the music again, always coming closer.

My heart was still beating hard when I woke up.
kokopellinelli: (Default)
This is interesting, and not just a little creepy.

The Religion of Homeless Children )

October 2011

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