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Government Too Big for Its Britches
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I often wonder what happens with the animals when I'm gone for the day (and mom's not here). I imagine it goes a little something like this:

Me: *to Summer* Be a good girl! Stay and guard. *closes door, locks it*

Summer: *runs to the front of the house and jumps up in the bay window to look out* Odog odog she's leaving what should I do odog odog.

*realizes the cat's food is sitting in front of her*

*eats*

Ink: *wanders in and flops on the floor* You ate my food again, didn't you?

Summer: Odog odog she's gonna be so mad at me so mad for eating the food the food that is not mine. Is she is she is she gonna be gone forever ever??

Ink: She'll be back in a few hours. Hey, wanna play some Texas Hold'Em?

Summer: She hates me hates me that's why she leaves me all the time. *sniffle* I so sad.

Ink: *eyeroll*

Then, when I get home:

Me: Hey, girl!

Summer: OYAY OYAY OYAY I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE ooooh gotta pee LOVE LOVE LOVE YAAAY.

Me: ...You ate the cat's food.

Summer: Ono ono ono please don't beat me please don't kill me. *crawls on her stomach toward me*

Me: Bad girl.

Summer: *whimper* I banish myself banish banish. *runs and hides*

Ink: Hey. Bring on the food. That bitch ate all mine.