(no subject)

[kokopellinelli]

Dear "Squeals-His-Tires-Under-My-Window-At-3-In-The-Morning":

MAY YOU BE ROLLED IN RANCID STEAK AND HURLED INTO A VAT OF RABID, HORNY WOLVERINES.

No love, That Girl You Wake Up Every Night, Who Wishes Upon You Horrible Pain and Death.

Comments

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

What an assclown.

A few years back I lived in an apartment complex, and some jerkass with a Harley or similar chopper would always leave at about 11:30 pm, making sure to give his bike a few hard-core revs before roaring out of the lot at a hojillion decibels.

Fucking retards.

[kokopellinelli]

Yes. They all must die. And I guess this guy doesn't actually wake me up EVERY night, but probably at least 2-3 times a week.

[milestogo13.livejournal.com]

Camp out on the side of the street one night in dark clothing, hidden from sight if possible, with the fanciest, high-powered paintball equipment you can rent from a local outdoors store. Try and get one that has either a full automatic mode, or a three-shot burst mode. Wait for him, as a hunter would wait for his pray, and when you hear the tires squeal, just pop out from cover and start unloading on his car. Dents AND paint damage, how can you go wrong? You may even be able to crack the rear windshield, depending on range. Then just fade into the night, paint-covered avenger that you are.

[kokopellinelli]

I like to pretend I'm stealthy, but in fact, here's how it would go:

Nelli: *hiding in bushes*

Car: *SQUEEEEEEAL!*

Nelli: YAAAAAAHHH!

Paintball Gun: *bapbapbapbapbap*

Car: *stops*

Man: *gets out*

Nelli: *runs, trips, falls, breaks arm*

Man: *kills Nelli, drives away*

Paintball Gun: :( Far from home, so sad, so sad.

[elektron.livejournal.com]

That's why you need a fuzzy sidekick! ;)