ARE WE THERE YET ARE WE THERE YET ARE WE THERE YET

I went on the boats today, on the Meares trip. Got some neat video of the glacier calving, and some photos, which will be coming to an LJ post near you in the near future. There were whales, and sea lions, and puffins, and all sorts of goodness.

The purpose of THIS post, however, is to discuss the little girl who was on the boat today. She was about 6, I think, and let me say this: "NOTE TO PARENTS: THE JOB OF THE BOAT CREW IS TO CREW, NOT TO KEEP YOUR KID OCCUPIED."

Are we clear?

Good.

I like to think that, if I ever have kids, and I thought my child was pestering someone, I would do something about it. Like, make that child stay with me the rest of the day.

I didn't mind it the first time she came up to the galley (10 minutes after we started out) and asked when we would serve the meal. I didn't mind the 2nd or 3rd time, even though they happened within 20 minutes of the first time. But after that, it started to get sort of annoying. Then she asked me if she could have lemonade. I told her she had to ask her mom.

Demon Spawn: "You're my mom."
Busy Nelli: "Uh...no I'm not."
Demon Spawn: "Yes you are."
Busy Nelli: "Nope, I'm no one's mom."
Demon Spawn: "Yuh huh."
Busy Nelli: "Uh, no. Go ask your mom."
Demon Spawn: "Who's Noah?"
Busy Nelli: "Noah?"
Demon Spawn: "You said you were Noah's mom."
Busy Nelli: "Oh, yeah. Uh...*points to Collin, who is minding his own business* That's my son, Noah."
Demon Spawn: "HUH UH! Moms and husbands don't work together!"

Okay.

Finally we served lunch, and all was quiet...for about an hour. Then when I got to sit down to eat my lunch, she came and sat across from me, asking if we had any more.

Eating Nelli: "Nope."
Demon Spawn: "YOU ATE IT ALL?"
Eating Nelli: "No, everyone ate it all."
Demon Spawn: "NUH UH, YOU ATE IT ALL! Y'ALL ARE GONNA BE FAT!"
Eating Nelli: "Oh, I ate it all? Did I eat yours? I'm pretty sure you ate your own."
Demon Spawn: "NO, Y'ALL ATE IT ALL! Y'ALL ARE GONNA BE FAT!"

At least she didn't point out that I'm already fat.

Peter and Collin finally got tired of her spending every spare second back at the galley, asking the same questions over and over, and whining when she learned soup wouldn't be served for another 3 hours. They told her we were having a coloring contest and gave her some crayons and coloring pages. She churned out about 10 during the rest of the trip, then spend about 15 minutes pestering Chris (the captain) up in the bridge to judge the pictures.

When she finally got off the boat (her humpback whale won the contest), she grabbed Collin around the middle for a hug that lasted about a minute and a half, even as he kept saying "Okay, I have to get back to work now. Okay, I have to get back to work now." Her mother was halfway up the ramp and started half-hearted calling, "Catherine, come on now. Catherine, let's go. Catherine, come on."

As they disembarked, her mom said, "Thanks for a wonderful day! And thanks for entertaining her!"

Yeah. Not our job, lady. And thanks for the NO TIP you left for putting up with your annoying daughter. Honestly, we don't expect tips, but it's nice when we basically babysat for 9 hours.

Anyway, it probably doesn't sound as bad as it was, and it wasn't really bad, just annoying.

I USED TO LOVE ALL CHILDREN, WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ME??