Part of me really likes having Summer (the golden retriever) around. She's very friendly and it's good to have a critter to give mom and me an excuse to go for walks, and she's fun to play fetch with. She's beautiful and she's sweet and she loves everything and everyone. She's not loud. We're doing Mel a favor by fostering her, too, which is good.
But this other part of me thinks...could she really be happy with us? When she lived with Mel, she had another dog (Aurora, a huge black lab) to play with so she was never bored. Mom and I play with Summer, but not as much as she's used to. She seems at a loss sometimes...standing there, looking aimlessly around. She'll bring her ball over to play with, but we know that if we throw it once, that means we have to throw it a jillion times and she still won't be tired. She's taken to entertaining herself by flinging her ball around and chasing it. She's also used to being put on a chain right outside the door when she needs to go out and go potty. Because we have a big yard for her to run in, I tried just letting her out this morning (without me accompanying her for the first time since she came here). She wouldn't go down the stairs till I went out on the deck and called her, and even then she was too busy looking for me to go to the bathroom. Finally I bundled up and went out with her. She has to sleep with me (sleeping without her would be like abandoning her, and also we want to give the cat some time to himself without her watching him.
She doesn't like being left alone or even put out on the deck with me and mom right inside the door. We can't leave her alone or she'll chew things (like power cords).
If we decide to keep her, I'm scared her spirit will disappear. That might be a little melodramatic, but I guess I'm a little melodramatic. If we find another home for her, I know I'll miss her (plus I'll feel guilty for shunting her around again).
I'm afraid we won't be able to keep her. And I'm afraid we will.
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