(no subject)

Some letters spawned by my trip to the grocery store earlier:

Dear Old Man On His Cell Phone:

Perhaps if you move your cart out of the center of the aisle, people would be able to get through. Perhaps if you wouldn't chat to random people from a party you're going to be at in 15 minutes, you would be able to hear me when I say "Excuse me." Perhaps someday you will realize that the right place to carry on a loud conversation on your phone and with your wife simultaneously is not the frozen foods aisle at your local Pick'n Save.

Thanks,
The Girl Who Had To Carefully Push Her Cart Behind You And Try Not To Scrape The Freezer Door.



Dear Girl Who Checked Us Out:

I know that you've been on your feet all day and you're tired. You've dealt with shit customers, and you just want to go home. I understand. I'm sorry. But please do not scowl at us, we just want to buy our groceries and go home.

Signed,
The Girl Who Is Just A Tiny Bit Scared You'll Murder Her With A Bag Of Frozen Corn



Dear Plastic Bag:

No breaky.

Love,
The Girl Who Had To Find Another Bag With Which To Stuff Your Contents


Dear God:

What's with the weather? Knock it off, kthxbye.

Please don't smite me,
The Girl Who Got Absolutely Soaked

P.S. Tomorrow we're going to the parade. Please be sunny.