(no subject)

As you may know, Keely and I have both applied to become substitutes. Keels got her certification a few days ago, but mine has yet to arrive, as I sent the application several day later than she did. Anyway, we haven't really been expecting to get too many calls from our school district, because it has more teachers than it knows what to do with, so yesterday we went around collecting applications for the school districts surrounding us, too.

Anyway, the way this particular distict is, the subs are on two lists, the list of subs with actually teaching degrees, and another list of subs with only BAs in something (in the case of both of us, it's English.) Each of those lists is in alphabetical order. So they go through the teaching degree list, then they go through the non-teaching degree list. Keels is a T, and I'm a V, so we bring up the end of the second list. Got all that?

THIS MORNING

Clock: 5:50

Me: *zzzzzzzzzz*

Slight distant ringing: *riiiiing, riiiiing. riiiiing, riiiiing*

Me: *zzzzzzzzzz*

Slight distant ringing: *riiiiing, riiiiing. riiiiing, riiiiing*

Me: *poof* Bzuh?

Slight distant ringing: *silent*

Me: *gets up, goes into living room*

Keels: *standing by the phone* I think the phone was ringing.

Me: So do I. *notices we're both in our underwear* We're not wearing pants.

Keels: *checks the phone for messages* Hm. Well.

Me: At least we know it works.

Keels: I'm actually kinda glad we missed it. I don't know if I'm ready to be in a classroom today. Though now they won't call me again for three weeks. I feel kinda guilty. *wanders back into her room and shuts the door*

Me: *walks over to the sink to get a glass of water*

Keels: *comes back out of her room to get some water* Watch, in about five minutes it'll ring again and they'll ask for you.

Me: Would they do that? I mean, I haven't even got my certificate yet.

Keels: If it's on its way, they already have you on their list.

Phone: *riiiiing, riiiiing*

Me: O__o *goes to answer*

Keels: Shit...

Me: Hello?

Soft-spoken lady on the other end: Hello, this is Lady McBlah at Burlington District Area schools, is this Keely?

Me: No it's not, will you hold on just a second?

Keels: O__o Hello? Uh huh...um...sure! Alright. Okay. So it's -elementary- School? All right. *writing stuff down* Okay, thank you. *hangs up* Oh god. What have I done? *panicking* What have I DONE?

Me: What?

Keels: I just said I'd sub for an art class.

Me: I'M SO JEALOUS!

Keels: WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO IN AN ART CLASS? *hyperventilating* I have to go throw up. *runs into her bathroom*

Me: *hovering far away from the open door of her bathroom* Keels?

Keels: Yeah?

Me: It'll be okay. It's an elementary school art class. You'll be watching them fingerpaint, not teaching them chiaroscuro.

Keels: *starts calming down, with moments of hyperventilation and panic over the next couple hours while she gets ready*

Me: *still jealous*

(no subject)

This is stuff that my mom sent me via email. I didn't want to send it on to people and perpetuate the cycle, but I do think it's cute.

( Cut for people who don't like kids. )

(no subject)

Stolen from jokergirl

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:"...tops of the great ancient trees. The towering trunks creaked..."

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch? Nothing. Just air.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? Watching an Everybody Loves Raymond rerun.

4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is. 6:45.

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 6:45. Seriously. O_o freaky.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? Everybody Loves Raymond, and Keely laughing.

7. When were you last outside? About an hour ago, when I went to get the mail.

8. What are you wearing? Nothing. Nothing at all. Except some gray pajamajams and a black tanktop.

9. Did you dream last night? Yep. But I'm not sure what about.

10. When did you last laugh? About two minutes ago.

11. What is on the walls of the room you are in? A round mirror above the computer, a little ceramic sign that says, "Fairies Happen," and a few framed paintings.

12. Seen anything weird lately? Myself in my underwear? Um...a picture of a bonobo that I thought had a tongue growing out the side of its head, but it turned out to be its hand at a funky angle.

13. What is the last film you saw? Jurassic Park.

14. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? A scanner or a blender, I guess. Tickets to Hawaii for me and a buddy.

15. Tell me something about yourself that I don’t know: My father used to call me Monkeybutt.

16. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? It sounds trite, I know, but I would eradicate 'pointless' hatred, like racism, homophobia, xenophobia, etc. Or at least eradicate the crimes associated with those things.

17. Do you like to dance? When I'm not in public.

18. George Bush? You mean Satan's lapdog? *sporkity*

19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Rowan, Auralie, or Ella.

20. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Damian Craig.

21. Would you ever consider living abroad? I am a broad. *snicker*

(no subject)

( Haiku memes. )

(no subject)

My new Elfwood Fan Quarter gallery! Woo!

It's pathetic how excited I am.